If you want to keep a clean name
don't go looking for a lost claim
in a long gone burnt out old flame
you've got to do you're best to kill the pain

-you must accept the fact, it will never be the same


On a late week night in a Summer month
I was sitting around stone sober for once
so I picked up the yearbook and looked you up
that's when I decided that I should be drunk
so I got that way

The more I drank, the more I thought
about the sad old days and all the stuff I'd bought
to keep you around and the things I'd sold
to give you that circle made of gold
and now I wanted it back

Well I almost talked myself out of doing
what I had already long ago ruined
so I didn't see the harm in me pursuing
that $800 worth of precious metal
that I knew was rightfully mine

I needed money, see, to pay off a loan
so I took another shot and picked up the phone
dialed your number for half the night
but it took three hours to get it right
and by then I was pissed

Your husband answered and I said, "Hey buddy!
hand the phone over to that fuddy-duddy
I feel the need to beat somebody bloody
if I don't get that god-dog wedding ring back!"

I remembered just as my yelling stopped
that my ex-wife's husband is a deputy cop
he knows where I work and he know's what I drive
and he's actually even been inside my house
and smelled things in there

Quickly I said, "Sorry, wrong number!"
he said, "Oh, no, I was starting to wonder
just how many illegal blunders
you were going to make in one phone call
and then he proceeded to list off the offences
I had already committed

There was verbal assault over a telephone line
and the threat to commit a violent crime
with a claim on a property that wasn't mine...
that's when I hung up and hoped he didn't know the trick
of dialing *69

Well, of course he had my number traced
and in 15 minutes there were at my place
by that time I was completely shitfaced
and had prepared my alibi to tell the judge

But he did not haul me in, instead
he sat me down and that kind man said
some powerful words that cleared my head
that I'll carry with my until I'm dead
and I'll share them with you now

he said
If you want to keep a clean name
don't go looking for a lost claim
in a long gone burnt out old flame
you're ex-wife tells me that you're insane

-you must accept that fact, it will never be the same

-you've got to do your best to kill the pain